Day 14

So, Friday, I got the script filled for the estrogen patch. It’s bigger than I expected and not skin tone. I put it on my lower abdomen and so far, it’s stayed in place. It’s strange to think that I will be wearing this everyday for the next 8 years. The IUD is easy to forget about but this is not. Of course, the other option is to take a pill and that doesn’t sound fun either.

Friday, I don’t even remember what I did.

Saturday, Craig left for work and I was alone for the day for the first time. I feel silly admitting this but he called while I was in the shower and I missed the call. I tried calling him back and couldn’t get a hold of him. I started crying and feeling anxious. I can’t explain it but it was like a well of emotion that was waiting for a trigger. I feel slightly traumatized and a little sad. I think about my life, and my choices and I replay things I wished I’d done differently. Pointless use of energy. Anyway, these feelings passed and I found some things to take my mind off it. But I have a feeling that I’m going to need to release these emotions at some point or I may unleash them in the wrong place. 

Here's a picture of my bellybutton from yesterday: